The funny thing about addiction is..you really don’t fully comprehend how bad it is until you truly want better.
I tried for what seemed like forever to become “fully” sober. But as I became less and less indulged in active addiction I found myself grasping for anything that would just take the edge off a smidge.
In and out of smoke shops trying new “legal” substances that would take me somewhere I had no business being anymore; high.
Taking a pill here and there to just “calm my nerves” knowing damn good and well my body and addiction never would allow “just one.”
I had to fully give up the life I lived for so long to truly live a life I want to stay sober in.
Recovery wasn’t as fast as it looked to outsiders. I battled my demons alone as I always have.
But this time I came out on top.
I was finally able to stop grasping for something more and hold on to what I had.