It takes many years for some. It definitely has for me.
It does not happen over night.
Recovery goes at its own pace and is different for everyone.
Recovery isn’t about just sobering up. No, recovery means healing the parts of you, YOU have tried to drown for so long.
I do not believe there is ever an end to “becoming better”. If we truly want better, we must work every day to make sure those unhealed parts of us are brought to the surface and faced head on.
It is painful.
Some of it is ugly.
I have kicked some a** on not wanting to drink or use for a better me. But healing the parts of myself that brought me there are still a daily struggle.
I’m impatient. Very, very impatient. I like quick fixes for everything.
I always find something wrong with with myself that can be worked on. But, there is no magic pill for personal growth.
I stopped fighting the demons from my past and welcomed the worry of the future head on. This has taken a toll on my mental clarity.
Patience is something I have always struggled with. But don’t we all?
We all want happiness…but we want it NOW.
The thought of the hard work we have to do to get there gets so overwhelming we put it off. BUT GUESS WHAT? The years still pass.
Nothing slows down for us.
Time waits for no-one.
What if we had been working on our happiness and goals that entire time? Instead of all the “quick fixes”. Where would we be down the road? Yes, always live in the moment, but never let go of why you want to become better.
I live life between living to be present and constantly overwhelming myself with plans of the future.
Finding a meeting point between knowing you have done all you can for the day and wishing we had done more is something we all long for. What a sense of peace.
The process of becoming a better version of yourself can be overwhelming…who am I kidding? It is overwhelming. But, the exact moment you can look back and say “damn, I have come a long way from who I once was” is a part of that peace we long for.
A sense of pride knowing YOU ARE capable of anything YOU set your mind to is so empowering. Happiness is a journey and I have only started paving my pathway.
So, today I choose to be patient with myself, and know I have done my absolute best for a better tomorrow.