That’s A Huge…BRIDGE!

(Catch my “Deuce Bigalo” pun!?)

So, since my husband has been working in Arizona, we have lived in Arizona and Nevada most of Covid (yikes). With all of the restrictions on things we hadn’t been able to see the Hoover Dam. Well, up until a couple weeks ago you couldn’t. And to be honest, I was perfectly content about not ever seeing it. I’m terribly afraid of heights…and bridges…something about falling to my death somehow or someway takes over me. Also, the whole dad suicide thing gives me the quivers as well.

Anyway, my husband had been religiously keeping up on when they will open back up to the public. He’s seen it before when he was younger and wanted to experience with us. Obviously I couldn’t hold him or the kids back from this once in a lifetime chance for a lot of people. Even me.

Well after sun screening the sh*t out of my face and kids, we were off on yet another Runge adventure.

Y’all, I made it up the stair walk and little informative tunnels up to the bridge and I was done. The noises of the flying passing semis and the thought of walking right beside it all consumed me. All of this..just to look over the side of one of the tallest dang bridges I’ve ever come across…stopped my mom britches in their tracks.

Yep. I chickened out. I did not go to the look over on the bridge AND I nearly held my daughter back from going as well. I’m not sure why but my anxiety about the heights made my mama heart think she was in danger and I told her to stay beside me. My poor baby cried because she wanted to go with her brother and dad. I knew my fears were irrational so, I stayed back and had the husband hold her hand tightly.

The pure excitement on my girls face when they came marching back to me was priceless. And to think she almost missed it because of my irrational fears…ugh. (Just one more reason to continue working on myself!)

The view from the bridge over Hoover Dam

We went ahead and finished up our day adventure by driving on down to the dam and taking the walk from the Nevada side down to the Arizona side. I must say, it was some of the most amazing views I had ever seen.

Though, I made sure to stay furthest from the sides of the wall to hinder my anxiety, I still took in the certain “awe” you get from being on and around something so massive.

All in all, the day was one for the books. My kids got to see some amazing structures and learn about the Hoover Dam. My husband got to finally check this off his to-do list and well I…I got the chance to be present and in the moment with them all.

My kids may not realize it but these are the memories and adventures I keep pushing myself for. The reason I wake up each day and try a little harder. I want these memories to be something they pull out to talk to their kids and grand children about.

I get a new chance every day to live in these moments. I am nowhere near where I want to be, but I am better than who I was yesterday, and she is a hell of a lot better than who I was just two years ago.

Bridge over dam that I did not walk on!
The dam looking down from bridge.
At least I got pictures with them on the dam!
My reasons for being better, taking in some awesome views.
My husband and I in front of the dam bridge 😉

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Here Come the Holiday BLAHS!

The holidays are upon us folks and as usual this mother camper is not even the least bit ready!

Despite living in a camper for years now, I have never actually decorated or put a tree up in our tiny space. The thought of making this small space even more crowded just gives me anxiety. We usually spend our holidays with my in-laws and I have been perfectly content with it until now.

We have always made it a point to travel back to my husbands parents to spend our Christmas, this year may be different. We are over a thousand miles away from his parents home and have NO desire to make that drive this year. Both of my parents have passed so changing it up and taking the family to one of my parents just is not in the cards anymore.

We own a 38 ft fifth wheel we have renovated to fit our specific family needs, and although its new to us, shes still an older camper and space is super limited. I am constantly purging items (mostly kids junk) turning my table every which way and trying to keep the place clean to give my home on wheels a spacious feel.

This year has been tough for all of us, 2020 has not been nice to anyone but, here we are entering the final months so we ought to make the best of it RIGHT?!

I wouldn’t totally say I am a going to go full blown Christmas throw up on every inch of my camper but, I think my little family deserve a cheerful holiday season and DAMN IT, I deserve it too!! This is our home, this is where we share our most personal and intimate times of our lives, this is where I want to share our Christmas joys as well!

WE ARE ALL WE GOT!!

Your little family is the most important item on your Christmas list every year so make sure you make it WORTH IT!

Lets make the end of 2020 not only memorable for the chaotic wild roller coaster of hell its been but, make it worth looking back and enjoying how we made the best of it!

So, put a tree up mama! Whether its a car tree air freshener hung up on the wall by a tack or a Charlie Browns Christmas tree on a table in the corner, just bring some joy to your tiny space! Hell, we all deserve it.

Christmas 2020, all I’m asking is you come in easy, treat us well, and let us take one happy joyful moment of this year with us into 2021.

-FullTimeMother-Camper